1. Check your telephone, or cellular phone bills. Look for any abnormal phone numbers that you do not recognize. Realize that not every phone number that you do not recognize will lead to a person that your spouse is having a cheating affair with. But you might find the proof you need. Call each unrecognizable number and wait to see who answers. If it's someone of the opposite gender from your spouse, explain that you had found their number on your spouse’s, and your phone bill , and were curious as to what it is. Understand, however, that you have to take whatever they tell you at face value.
2. Hire an investigator. Find one in your local newspaper, phone book, or hire one that someone that you know has used before. Sometimes this method can prove to be very costly, so make sure you can afford it.
3. Use a digital camera or web cam to spy on your spouse. Set it up in the bedroom, since this is where most affairs take place. Know, however, that if it is found your relationship is probably over.
4. Track them on the internet. If your spouse has been cheating over emails, you can take the email address that have been writing to and type it into a Google or Yahoo search. This will often link you to tons of websites that email is registered with, often revealing a name, online identities, and sometimes addresses and phone numbers.
5. Confront your spouse, but ONLY after you have a significant amount of evidence. Track your spouse’s routine and attempt to catch him or her in the act, or at least see if he or she is lying to you.
*Be wary, if you are caught spying on your significant other, you will be the betraying and untrustworthy one and will likely ruin your relationship.
To receive more information on how to find out EASILY, visit:
"http://vur.me/djfunkyslick/phone"
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
How To Meet New People: Tips on Not Being Creepy
1. Understand the stereotype of a creep. To creep is to move slowly and quietly, as if sneaking up on someone. A person who's creepy is someone who's perceived to be eerily quiet in some way, as if there's something behind the scenes that could surprise you in an unpleasant way. Think of a cult leader, serial killer, child molester, or stalker. They all have a dark side brewing that they keep tucked away until the right opportunity comes along. And if you're coming off as creepy, it means you're doing some of the things that strange people often do.
2. Commit to changing your behavior. Those of us who get classified as creeps are often just people who are unapologetically unique. It's easy to feel resentful towards people for labeling you as creepy just because you're not jumping through the same social hoops as everyone else. And this feeling might make you resistant towards changing your behavior. So before you proceed, you have to accept that people judge each other, and sometimes they're off, but that's the way it goes. That's what you have to work with. So don't assume that changing the way you act in order to change people's perception of you is somehow violating your pledge to be yourself. If anything, it increases the likelihood that people can get to know your true self, because you're not warding them off in your first conversation by acting like a sociopath.
* There's an image presented in a lot of media, especially anime and video games, that being standoffish, mysterious, and quiet is "cool". In real life, however, it's more likely to come off as creepy.[1]
* Don't feel that you need to change the way you look or dress. If you can change the way you interact with people, what you look like won't matter.
3. Become a good conversationalist. Awkward silences can very easily turn into creepiness. So can your babbling on and on about your mother, your cat, or your collection of bugs. A good conversationalist keeps finding things they have in common, and they do it in a casual, non-intrusive way. For example, there's a difference between asking someone "Have you ever held a tarantula?" and saying "Have you ever felt the tiny hairs of a tarantula's legs brush up against the palm of your hand?" The latter is more poetic, but way too intimate for a first conversation for most people (and this article presumes you want to learn how to deal with most people, not that tiny minority who's just as quirky and offbeat as you are and will most certainly appreciate your candor). Learn to start a conversation and keep it flowing in a fun, positive and casual way.
* It's worth repeating that you should not go on and on about unique hobbies or interests unless the person shares them or asks a lot of questions. If they only ask a few questions, that doesn't necessarily mean they're interested; it probably means they're being polite, so don't dominate the conversation with your enthusiasm.
4. Let go of any neediness you might have. Neediness is a precursor to obsessiveness, and obsessiveness is creepy. Needy people are imbalanced and unstable people, because their happiness hinges too greatly on someone else. If you're projecting a vibe that you'll be devastated if a person doesn't want to be your friend or romantic partner, it's time slow down, be patient, and examine yourself. Read How to Stop Being Needy.
5. Respect boundaries. This is a key social skill that many mis-labeled creeps are sorely lacking. Think of any kind of relationship as a video game. You start off at the easiest level, and as time goes on and you improve, you go to more difficult levels and achieve a greater sense of satisfaction. When you first meet someone, you're on level 1, and you're not supposed to proceed to level 2 until you get past level 1, and so on. Creeps tend to accidentally skip to level 15. There are a variety of ways in which they do this:
* Staring. Extended, direct eye contact is something lovers usually do. It's something you can do if the person you're talking to is noticeably romantically interested, but even then it's risky because the creep factor is high if you're mistaken. Look someone in the eye while they're talking, but also be sure to pull your gaze away periodically and shift your interest to other things. And check to make sure you don't have a tendency of staring at someone's body (chest, hands, shoes, whatever) even if in admiration or curiosity. In general, you don't want to make someone feel like they're under a microscope.
* Asking personal questions. What's too personal? It depends. Your best bet is to pay attention to other people's conversations. Notice what people feel comfortable talking about when they first meet. See How to Come Up with Good Conversation Topics. Know which topics to steer clear of: romantic experiences, politics, religion, illness or disease, and anything dark like murder or death (this is not the time to explain how the sword you have on your wall was designed to pierce someone's intestines in a particular way).
* Invitations. Don't invite someone into your basement, a cabin in the woods, a warehouse, or to any setting where horror movies often take place. If it's dark and isolated, it can easily become a creepy experience, and the creepy atmosphere might make you seem creepy, too. This kind of invitation also shows that you expect someone to trust you completely, which generally, they shouldn't (no matter how charming you might be; it's just not street smart). If you're going to extend an invitation, make it to a public place where there are plenty of people.
6. Pay attention to body language. Ultimately, everybody has different "standards" for creepiness. What's creepy to one person might be fascinating to another. The only way you can figure this out on a case-by-case basis is by paying attention to signals that a person's ready to go to the next level, or you're making them feel uncomfortable. And you need to do this without staring! It'll take some practice and attentiveness, but once you get a grip on body language, you'll start to account for it subconsciously.
VISIT: http://vur.me/djfunkyslick/shy
2. Commit to changing your behavior. Those of us who get classified as creeps are often just people who are unapologetically unique. It's easy to feel resentful towards people for labeling you as creepy just because you're not jumping through the same social hoops as everyone else. And this feeling might make you resistant towards changing your behavior. So before you proceed, you have to accept that people judge each other, and sometimes they're off, but that's the way it goes. That's what you have to work with. So don't assume that changing the way you act in order to change people's perception of you is somehow violating your pledge to be yourself. If anything, it increases the likelihood that people can get to know your true self, because you're not warding them off in your first conversation by acting like a sociopath.
* There's an image presented in a lot of media, especially anime and video games, that being standoffish, mysterious, and quiet is "cool". In real life, however, it's more likely to come off as creepy.[1]
* Don't feel that you need to change the way you look or dress. If you can change the way you interact with people, what you look like won't matter.
3. Become a good conversationalist. Awkward silences can very easily turn into creepiness. So can your babbling on and on about your mother, your cat, or your collection of bugs. A good conversationalist keeps finding things they have in common, and they do it in a casual, non-intrusive way. For example, there's a difference between asking someone "Have you ever held a tarantula?" and saying "Have you ever felt the tiny hairs of a tarantula's legs brush up against the palm of your hand?" The latter is more poetic, but way too intimate for a first conversation for most people (and this article presumes you want to learn how to deal with most people, not that tiny minority who's just as quirky and offbeat as you are and will most certainly appreciate your candor). Learn to start a conversation and keep it flowing in a fun, positive and casual way.
* It's worth repeating that you should not go on and on about unique hobbies or interests unless the person shares them or asks a lot of questions. If they only ask a few questions, that doesn't necessarily mean they're interested; it probably means they're being polite, so don't dominate the conversation with your enthusiasm.
4. Let go of any neediness you might have. Neediness is a precursor to obsessiveness, and obsessiveness is creepy. Needy people are imbalanced and unstable people, because their happiness hinges too greatly on someone else. If you're projecting a vibe that you'll be devastated if a person doesn't want to be your friend or romantic partner, it's time slow down, be patient, and examine yourself. Read How to Stop Being Needy.
5. Respect boundaries. This is a key social skill that many mis-labeled creeps are sorely lacking. Think of any kind of relationship as a video game. You start off at the easiest level, and as time goes on and you improve, you go to more difficult levels and achieve a greater sense of satisfaction. When you first meet someone, you're on level 1, and you're not supposed to proceed to level 2 until you get past level 1, and so on. Creeps tend to accidentally skip to level 15. There are a variety of ways in which they do this:
* Staring. Extended, direct eye contact is something lovers usually do. It's something you can do if the person you're talking to is noticeably romantically interested, but even then it's risky because the creep factor is high if you're mistaken. Look someone in the eye while they're talking, but also be sure to pull your gaze away periodically and shift your interest to other things. And check to make sure you don't have a tendency of staring at someone's body (chest, hands, shoes, whatever) even if in admiration or curiosity. In general, you don't want to make someone feel like they're under a microscope.
* Asking personal questions. What's too personal? It depends. Your best bet is to pay attention to other people's conversations. Notice what people feel comfortable talking about when they first meet. See How to Come Up with Good Conversation Topics. Know which topics to steer clear of: romantic experiences, politics, religion, illness or disease, and anything dark like murder or death (this is not the time to explain how the sword you have on your wall was designed to pierce someone's intestines in a particular way).
* Invitations. Don't invite someone into your basement, a cabin in the woods, a warehouse, or to any setting where horror movies often take place. If it's dark and isolated, it can easily become a creepy experience, and the creepy atmosphere might make you seem creepy, too. This kind of invitation also shows that you expect someone to trust you completely, which generally, they shouldn't (no matter how charming you might be; it's just not street smart). If you're going to extend an invitation, make it to a public place where there are plenty of people.
6. Pay attention to body language. Ultimately, everybody has different "standards" for creepiness. What's creepy to one person might be fascinating to another. The only way you can figure this out on a case-by-case basis is by paying attention to signals that a person's ready to go to the next level, or you're making them feel uncomfortable. And you need to do this without staring! It'll take some practice and attentiveness, but once you get a grip on body language, you'll start to account for it subconsciously.
VISIT: http://vur.me/djfunkyslick/shy
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
House Training your Dog: Getting it Right the First Time, in No Time.
House training your new puppy can seem a daunting task. It does not have to be that difficult. It is thought that dogs were domesticated from wolves as early as 100,000 years ago, which means we've been living with and around dogs for quite some time. Of course, that's still an awful long time before we had leather couches, Persian carpets, and condominiums!
So it would seem we've got a huge challenge on our hands (or at least on our floors), and are asking for trouble every time we introduce a new dog in to our unfamiliar modern-age "dens." But that's not necessarily the case. Dogs are INTELLIGENT animals. And, generally, they are CLEAN animals too.
They don't want a mess any more than you do. Most of all, they are loyal and devoted. They don't want to upset the one person who matters most in their lives - you.
I'll never forget the day I took home my first adopted dog, a Labrador and Rottweiler mix named Lea, who had been given up by its owners. She was a truly gorgeous animal, and the day I found her at the dog shelter she was just sitting in the middle of her kennel, the only quiet dog amid a concert of barking kennel mates. She looked at me with that perfect dog eye contact, as if to say "Well, it's about time!"
I was fresh out of school and had no idea what "submissive urination" and "separation anxiety" were, but these were the problems - along with a few others I don't recall - that I was warned about when I took her home three days later. At the shelter, they also told me that they were not sure exactly how old the puppy was (they estimated eight or 10 months), and they were not sure what training, if any, she had.
In my mind, I had taken home an adorable fur ball that could do no wrong. I soon found out that I had an un-trained dog that came with seemingly endless weeks of accidents inside the house (once when I was away she relieved herself right on a book I was reading!) It's not that I didn't get it all sorted in the end. I did, and I wound up with an incredibly intelligent and reliable companion. It's just that when I was trying to train her, a lot of the stuff I tried - and a lot of the frustration I endured - didn't feel right at the time. And it wasn't.
I didn't know nearly enough to train her properly from the start, and the consequence was a lot of stress and confusion for both owner and pet, and a training period that took much, much longer than it ever should have.
Since then, I have not only helped myself by learning effective and lasting methods for house training that I apply with every dog I adopt, but as a practicing dog trainer, I have also helped countless others house train new members of their family. Whether they are new puppies straight from the store or breeder, adopted dogs with a difficult history, or simply adult dogs who have fallen back on bad habits, I have helped these owners meet the challenge of house training by sharing the necessary knowledge and experience.
Accidents will happen. But not for very long, provided you follow the RIGHT PROGRAM for your dog and your situation. with the right program you will learn:
1) How to PUT AND END TO your puppy or adult dog's indoor ACCIDENTS, and how to better COMMUNICATE with your dog in the process. 2) Why the most COMMON REACTION to accidents is also the LEAST CORRECT. 3) Why the GREATEST RISK is often not a matter of whether or not your puppy will learn, but rather how much CONFUSION AND STRESS your training methods may cause. 4) Why "CONFINEMENT" doesn't mean the same thing to you as it does to your dog. 5) How even positive reinforcement (the way you pet your dog) can be physically intimidating if not done properly. 6) Which PRODUCTS may help you in the house training process, and which may be a waste of your money.
You owe it to yourself and your new addition to check out the proper way to train you both! Get a Secrets to Dog Training 6 Day Course FREE by visiting:
http://vur.me/djfunkyslick/canine
So it would seem we've got a huge challenge on our hands (or at least on our floors), and are asking for trouble every time we introduce a new dog in to our unfamiliar modern-age "dens." But that's not necessarily the case. Dogs are INTELLIGENT animals. And, generally, they are CLEAN animals too.
They don't want a mess any more than you do. Most of all, they are loyal and devoted. They don't want to upset the one person who matters most in their lives - you.
I'll never forget the day I took home my first adopted dog, a Labrador and Rottweiler mix named Lea, who had been given up by its owners. She was a truly gorgeous animal, and the day I found her at the dog shelter she was just sitting in the middle of her kennel, the only quiet dog amid a concert of barking kennel mates. She looked at me with that perfect dog eye contact, as if to say "Well, it's about time!"
I was fresh out of school and had no idea what "submissive urination" and "separation anxiety" were, but these were the problems - along with a few others I don't recall - that I was warned about when I took her home three days later. At the shelter, they also told me that they were not sure exactly how old the puppy was (they estimated eight or 10 months), and they were not sure what training, if any, she had.
In my mind, I had taken home an adorable fur ball that could do no wrong. I soon found out that I had an un-trained dog that came with seemingly endless weeks of accidents inside the house (once when I was away she relieved herself right on a book I was reading!) It's not that I didn't get it all sorted in the end. I did, and I wound up with an incredibly intelligent and reliable companion. It's just that when I was trying to train her, a lot of the stuff I tried - and a lot of the frustration I endured - didn't feel right at the time. And it wasn't.
I didn't know nearly enough to train her properly from the start, and the consequence was a lot of stress and confusion for both owner and pet, and a training period that took much, much longer than it ever should have.
Since then, I have not only helped myself by learning effective and lasting methods for house training that I apply with every dog I adopt, but as a practicing dog trainer, I have also helped countless others house train new members of their family. Whether they are new puppies straight from the store or breeder, adopted dogs with a difficult history, or simply adult dogs who have fallen back on bad habits, I have helped these owners meet the challenge of house training by sharing the necessary knowledge and experience.
Accidents will happen. But not for very long, provided you follow the RIGHT PROGRAM for your dog and your situation. with the right program you will learn:
1) How to PUT AND END TO your puppy or adult dog's indoor ACCIDENTS, and how to better COMMUNICATE with your dog in the process. 2) Why the most COMMON REACTION to accidents is also the LEAST CORRECT. 3) Why the GREATEST RISK is often not a matter of whether or not your puppy will learn, but rather how much CONFUSION AND STRESS your training methods may cause. 4) Why "CONFINEMENT" doesn't mean the same thing to you as it does to your dog. 5) How even positive reinforcement (the way you pet your dog) can be physically intimidating if not done properly. 6) Which PRODUCTS may help you in the house training process, and which may be a waste of your money.
You owe it to yourself and your new addition to check out the proper way to train you both! Get a Secrets to Dog Training 6 Day Course FREE by visiting:
http://vur.me/djfunkyslick/canine
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